Getting sad...

So, I'm sitting at work right now, with nothing to do (finally, a breather!) and starting to think about Cameran's first birthday on Saturday. We had a small party for her with family and some close family friends last Saturday in FW - it didn't really hit me until Monday that my little baby is not a baby anymore.

The daycare called me at work on Monday and said that Cami would be transitioning into the Toddler room the last week of June and would be in there for good starting the first of July. Wow - not in the infant room. She'll be in a room with other little KIDS - not babies in bouncies - and napping on a COT - not a crib - and eating meals and snacks at a TABLE on a CHAIR - not a highchair, buckled in. I really swear she was just born and we were just in the hospital taking our family picture right before leaving.

It didn't go this fast with Alaina - I feel like Alaina was a baby for so long. I'm sure part of this is how little Alaina was and how Cami's walking a couple months before Alaina did.

It goes beyond Cami turning one - Alaina will be FIVE in 2 1/2 months. She may be starting kindergarten in the fall. Sniff. Sniff.

I feel like I've lost so much time with my girls by being so busy. Where did it all go? Why didn't I cherish all the little moments Alaina wanted to snuggle with me yesterday instead of telling her I had too much to do? Why didn't I just sit back and delight in Cami's insanely happy quacking instead of smiling and going around her to pick up the books she just pulled down off the shelf?

Part of my sadness, is fear of them getting older. That something will happen to them. That someone will hurt their feelings or make them feel inadequate. That someone will take advantage of their sweetness and love.

I know it will all happen on some scale - it just scares me that I can't protect them from it happening on a larger scale.

I guess that's why I have a God who loves me - and more importantly, who is a PERFECT father to my girls. Who will protect us and will not forsake us. Even if something does happen, it is in God's plan (which is ALWAYS better than mine) and He will see us through it and build us up. He does so EVERY day.

We are a blessed family. And my girls are truly amazing. :)